Making Amends on Yom Kippur: The Power of Verbalization in the Teshuva Process 

Raizy Lichtenstein, Jewish Studies Teacher 

In my L’Chaim class on Thursday, I opened a discussion on Teshuva (repentance) on Yom Kippur with the following prompt:

Can we ever fix what we have broken? Is there a system for fixing ourselves so that we become the kind of people who don’t break things the same way again? Is there a way of remedying the damage we have done to other’s property, feelings, friendships, and lives?  

A student raised his hand.  “I think the word ‘mend’ might work better in this context,” he said.  “When you mend something, it still leaves a seam, but at least it’s not torn, as it was before.”  He was right, of course.  Making amends is a far cry from never having hurt another person, betrayed our personal values, or done something that made us feel small in the eyes of God. Teshuva can’t mean returning to a past state of perfection; rather, when we try to make amends we aim to make choices that enable us to live in a mended present with ourselves, with others, and with God. 

And yet, to stretch my student’s analogy just a bit more, in our quest to mend the holes we’ve made in our personal, social, and spiritual fabric, there are some seams that are lumpier than others. Making serious amends is a discipline, and refining our strategies can make all the difference. Maimonides, in his 10-chapter Hilchot Teshuva (Laws of Repentance), calls a person who makes true amends a Baal Teshuva (a master of repentance), and describes a tangible process by which to achieve it:

וּמַה הִיא הַתְּשׁוּבָה. הוּא שֶׁיַּעֲזֹב הַחוֹטֵא חֶטְאוֹ וִיסִירוֹ מִמַּחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ וְיִגְמֹר בְּלִבּוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַעֲשֵׂהוּ עוֹד שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ישעיה נה ז) “יַעֲזֹב רָשָׁע דַּרְכּוֹ” וְגוֹ’. וְכֵן יִתְנַחֵם עַל שֶׁעָבַר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיה לא יט) “כִּי אַחֲרֵי שׁוּבִי נִחַמְתִּי”. וְיָעִיד עָלָיו יוֹדֵעַ תַּעֲלוּמוֹת שֶׁלֹּא יָשׁוּב לְזֶה הַחֵטְא לְעוֹלָם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (הושע יד ד) “וְלֹא נֹאמַר עוֹד אֱלֹהֵינוּ לְמַעֲשֵׂה יָדֵינוּ” וְגוֹ’. וְצָרִיךְ לְהִתְוַדּוֹת בִּשְׂפָתָיו וְלוֹמַר עִנְיָנוֹת אֵלּוּ שֶׁגָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ:


What constitutes Teshuvah? 

  1. Azivat HaChet: The sinner should abandon his sins and remove them from his thoughts, resolving in his heart, never to commit them again […]
  2. Charata: He must regret the past misdeed […]
  3. Edut Yode’a Ta’alumot: [He must reach the level where] God, who knows the hidden, will testify concerning him that he will never return to this sin […]
  4. Vidui: He must verbally confess and state these matters which he resolved in his heart.

(Laws of Repentance 2:2)

According to Maimonides, the process of thinking deeply about distancing oneself from past misdeeds and then verbally saying these thoughts out loud, before God, with full sincerity, is profoundly life-changing.  It can enable a person to emerge ready to engage with self, others, and God in a truly mended way.  

The act of Vidui, verbalizing, is particularly interesting here. There are a number of Jewish practices that require speech even when no others are around.  For example, on the night of Passover, you must tell the story of the Exodus out loud even if there is no one else in the room; you are the storyteller, but you are also the audience.  You tell the story, and you receive it. 

The verbalized Vidui of repentance is similarly essential.  In actually saying “I have done this regrettable thing,” you both tell of your misdeed, and you hear it.  Somewhere between the story you tell and the story you hear, there’s a jolt of recognition that is truly divine; a moment of standing before God and knowing with a full heart that you are bigger than this story, better than this story, and capable of making amends. 

May we all emerge from this Yom Kippur with the joy of being Baalei Teshuva; with mended selves, may we all merit to live in peace in a mended world!